Love – The Best Medicine to Mature Singles’ Anxiety and Loneliness
Dating can definitely be challenging no matter the age you’re trying to do it at. Even though the theory goes that there are plenty of fish in the sea for everyone, you might get an empty net far more often than what you’ve signed up for.
By the looks of it, things don’t get easier with time – you’re getting better at knowing what you want and you’re not willing to settle down for anything else, right? Actually, you’re not alone there; that’s the number one reason why successfully dating after 40 could seem like a definite mission impossible for many!
However, even if you’re just tired of all the heartache and disappointment, things aren’t always as bad as it may seem. The cliché is real–true love does heal all! Read on to learn why singles over 40 might be experiencing anxiety and loneliness as well as ways to successfully overcome them and finally get what you want.
Why am I feeling lonely?
Being single in your 20s is completely different than being single in your 40s – actually, it’s not that bad of a thing! It’s somewhat expected as life seems like an infinite swirl of fun and considering your friends are always there, you never really get a chance to feel lonely even if you don’t have the one by your side. On top of that, many aren’t doing much better than yourself so everyone is basically hoping that things will just fall into place one day.
Be that as it may, the anxiety and loneliness start to creep their way in once everyone you know starts settling down eventually. In fact, you could be feeling so lonely, you might be tempted into thinking others have it easier than you, as the day when your things fall into place seems further away than you’d ever dreamed of. If you’re still single by the time you’re 40 or over, it’s very easy to feel completely out of place – there are only so many events you can attend without “a plus one”, aren’t there?
But one thing you need to understand is that it’s completely and utterly normal to feel that way –no, you’re not weak and there’s nothing wrong with you! You’re just a normal human being craving for connection and interaction with another human being. Since human beings are social creatures – well, for the most part, that is – you’ll need to recognize and accept your negative feelings about your current relationship status before moving on to dealing with them.
Winning the battle with anxiety and loneliness
Winning this battle is no easy task and it may take a while but eventually, you’ll get there. There are several ways that might help you feel better in the long run and increase your chances of finding love.
- Practice self-love
Nothing will help you more in the dating world rather than practicing some self-love. If you never learn to love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? Try accepting your flaws first before moving on to work on your confidence. Dating over 40 is challenging enough as it is –don’t make things more difficult by not being satisfied by the person you are.
While it’s okay to be critical towards yourself sometimes, being harsh won’t help you make any progress. Remember that things in your life can change for the better any minute now and that your job is to be happy and content with yourself and everything you have at this moment.
- Give online dating a try
While it’s true dating used to work a bit differently in the past, times are changing – and they’re changing fast! No matter the type of commitment you’re looking to make, one of the fastest ways to meet singles over 40 is to join an Internet dating site. Online dating after 40 works well even if you’re a bit on the shy side, as it minimizes the chances of feeling bad even if someone turns you down.
Pick a decent picture, write a few things about yourself and the things you enjoy the most and you might be surprised by the number of people who are similar to yourself! Don’t forget that it could take you a few tries before finding someone worth sticking to, so don’t get disappointed if things don’t work out as you’d imagined on the first try.
- Join a group
What’s a better place to meet others like yourself rather than joining a group where everyone shares a similar interest or a hobby? Find what you enjoy doing the most and go for it. For instance, if you enjoy cooking – join a cooking group! If you love reading, sign up for a book club – maybe a bookworm will find its way to your heart.
Even if you don’t end up meeting the right person, you’ll still be meeting some fresh faces and growing your circle of acquaintances. Maybe that friend of a friend is exactly the thing you’re looking for, who knows?
- Don’t look for perfect
Nothing in this world is perfect and love is certainly far from ideal. Even though you probably know by now what you’re looking for in a person, don’t be afraid to become a bit more flexible. Now, that doesn’t mean you should date just about anyone but try giving people a chance even if they don’t fit into the picture of a perfect partner you have in your head.
Is love all you need?
Most of the time, getting a bit of love in your life will definitely make things better. Feeling happy is never a bad idea and actually, there have been numerous studies carried out pointing out the links between love and happier lives.
However, finding love shouldn’t become an obsession. While you should definitely work on improving your relationship status if you’re that much bothered by the single life, you also shouldn’t forget to let things take their natural flow.
Don’t forget to enjoy life in your quest to finding love. Remember that you can’t force love to happen – actually, most of the time, it’ll hit you when you at least expect it!