The Difficulties of Dating After 40s
Dating after 40 may not go as smoothly as it has been going before. Many singles over 40 agree that it actually leaves them disappointed for the biggest part. However, before you give up hope completely and start believing things are only going to get worse as time goes by, there’s one thing you should know – you’re not alone!
Millions of people struggle with meeting the Mr. or Mrs. Right nowadays and sometimes, it happens far too often to bump into the Wrong one! But the good thing is that once you acknowledge any of the difficulties you’ve been experiencing, you’ll be able to solve them for the most part.
Read on to get a basic idea of what you and your peers are struggling with as well as ways to combat those issues.
1 – Not being able to meet new people
All of the singles over 40 agree on this one – meeting new people is the biggest problem! How are you supposed to meet someone right for you if you aren’t able to meet new people at all, right?
When you were in your 20s or even your 30s, it seemed like the dating opportunities were endless – you probably just had to turn around the corner to bump into someone fresh. However now, once you’re part of a routine of some sorts, it looks like you see the same people every single day – your local grocery shop, your coworkers, you even meet the same people at the traffic lights on the corner every day!
If you want to meet someone new, you need to start doing something different than what you’ve been doing so far. Step out of your comfort zone and leave the everyday work-home routine in the past. You can start by joining some online dating after 40sites or participating in a group activity of your favorite hobby. Don’t be scared to even sign up for something completely new to yourself, such as mountain climbing activities or paragliding – you’ll never know who might show up there!
2 – The “baggage” problem
The second biggest reason why people get discouraged when it comes to dating after 40 is the baggage problem. Let’s face it: all of you have been through some stuff in life. Once you meet someone new, there are very likely going to be some children involved in the picture, perhaps a hurtful divorce or maybe even someone has been widowed by then – life has been happening meanwhile, right?
If you want your relationships to be successful, you’re going to have to make your peace with his or hers past. Of course, there are some things some of you may not feel comfortable enough accepting – maybe he has kids but you’ve never even wanted kids in the first place – and that’s okay.
But try and be as flexible as you can because you’ll soon realize everyone you meet later on in life has their own story to tell – don’t judge a person only by their story and instead, give them a chance to see their worth!
3 – Being hurt by past experiences
It doesn’t matter why you’re hitting the dating scene in your 40s; truth is, life probably hasn’t been treating you kind when it came to relationships in the past. Love can sometimes hurt, right?
Nonetheless, even if you’re trying to recover from a nasty divorce where the other person cheated or left you broken-hearted, don’t let your past cloud your future. Every person you start dating is different and no, not everyone will act the same.
Take all of the necessary time to heal your wounds and afterward, give people a fair chance to prove their worth to you. You might end up being surprised by what happens in the end!
4 – Having your standards too high
Expecting to see some certain qualities in a partner is great – actually, you’re encouraged to have some criteria when choosing one!
However, you may be missing out on some great people out there just because you have some unrealistic expectations. While it’s okay to want your partner to have a steady income, you can’t dismiss people if they don’t earn a six-figure paycheck or don’t speak 3 foreign languages.
Instead, try not to judge people straight away based on the criteria you have in your head.Don’t forget that you could end up being happier with the most average Joe out there than you may be with some top CEO – you don’t get to pick love, and actually, love picks you.
5 – You don’t feel confident enough
A great number of people said that once they’ve reached the 40 mark, they somehow end up losing their overall confidence when it comes to dating. In fact, those starting off fresh after a bad experience, share that sometimes, they feel like they’ve forgotten how to do dating in the first place!
However, considering the things you’ve been through life by this point,it’d be a shame if you don’t appreciate and love yourself enough. Who’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself in the first place?
If you’ve been struggling with this issue for a while, maybe it’d be good to start working on your self-love and overall confidence a bit before sailing off in the dating waters. Try to enjoy your own company a bit more; maybe even get a fresh new haircut or start hitting the gym more often – anything to get your spirits up – and you’ll soon start noticing the difference.
To wrap it all up, no one said that the dating thing is always going to be easy – things get messy in that world no matter your age!
All problems apart, don’t look at dating as an obligation but rather as something that will open up new opportunities for you. By focusing on the good things only, you’ll soon start giving off positive vibes that will take you to that special someone faster than you think – and who will say no to a smiling and positive face, right?